Characteristics

• Charismatic
• Kind
• Attentive in close relationships
• Warm
• Likable
• Friendly
• Move quickly in relationships of any kind
• Prioritize their relationships & social interactions

 

Core Wounds

• I am/will be abandoned
• I am unsafe
• I am/will be alone
• I am not good enough
• I am/will be rejected
• I am/will be unloved
• I am excluded
• I am/will be disliked  

Common Emotional Problems

• Lonely
• Insecure
• Fearful
• Anxious
• Worry
• Desperation
• Regret
• Sad  

Relationship to Boundaries

• Often without boundaries in close relationships
• Eventually will feel unloved or emotionally abandoned when others put up boundaries with them as it is not part of their way they've learned to attach to others
• Feel afraid of abandonment if they set boundaries
• Self-sabotage boundaries because they prioritize proximity
• Often don't realize the importance of healthy boundaries in relationships

 

Common Needs

• Love, intimacy, closeness, connection
• Validation, reassurance, approval, importance
• Certainty, consistency, presence, to feel seen, heard, understood
• Inclusion, community, collaboration, teamwork

 

Common Expectations
My partner should soothe my emotions
My partner should give me certainty at all times
My partner should know how I feel/read my mind
My partner is responsible for meeting all of my needs (and vice versa)
My partner should be available
The romantic relationship should be the highest priority
Romantic gestures in a relationship should be frequent
 

Behavioural Coping Mechanisms

• Clinginess (trying to maintain proximity)
• Trying to gently provoke the expression of care from a partner (ex. Make jealous to provoke response)
• Testing
• Seeking validation
• Attention or approval-seeking behaviors
• Expression of panic, anxiety, neediness
• Criticism of partner
• Fawning