Characteristics- Present
- Hypervigilant
- Charming
- Likeable
- Generous in close relationships
- Intense
- Hot and cold in relationships
- Suspicious
Core Wounds- am/will be betrayed
- am unsafe
- am unworthy
- am bad
- am/will be abandoned
- am trapped
- am helpless/powerless/out of control
- am not good enough
- am disrespected
- am/will be unloved
- am weak (if i am too emotional or available to others)
Common Emotional Problems- Angry
- Hurt
- Frustrated (when feeling trapped)
- Overwhelmed
- Pressured
- Guilty
- Ashamed
- Anxious
- Offended
Relationship to Boundaries- Often without boundaries in close relationships.
- Eventually will become frustrated with feeling taken advantage of (partially due to their lack of boundaries) and at times lash out, feel guilty and go back to being.
- boundaryless/ over-giving
- May feel like they are good at setting boundaries but if you look closely, they are setting boundaries almost exclusively from a place of charged emotion/anger. This is different than being an empowered, assertive boundary setter without having to get angry.
Common Needs- Emotional Depth
- Passion
- Trust
- Presence
- Safety
- Novelty
- Growth
- Independence
- Freedom
- Intimacy
- To feel wanted
Common Expectations
- That nobody should ever break their trust
- No lying, ever
- •heir romantic partner should be as giving as they are
- Their romantic partner should always respect their independence
- They should always feel wanted by their partner
- Partner should always make them feel wanted
- Partner should be faithful in thought, emotion, opinion, action
Behavioural Coping Mechanisms- Testing
- Withdrawing to decompress
- Stonewalling
- Spitefulness
- Criticism
- Emotional volatility
- Fight, flight, freeze and fawning
- Excess of "creature comforts" (Ex. Binging on rv, food, gaming, alcohol, gambling etc. > Not always the case but can be common)
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